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Over the last 19 years working in pediatrics, mostly Early Intervention, I have experienced many parents/caregivers who have difficulty navigating their child’s emotions. Since I am there to help parents/caregivers help their child communicate, naturally we usually end up talking about the frustration their kiddo(s) are demonstrating. Inevitably, a huge part of my job comes down to teaching families to navigate and/or manage behaviors.
So, many parents ask, “When should I begin teaching my child(ren) about emotions?”. Most scholars believe that teaching children the “feeling words” and how to use them should begin around the age of 3. They believe this is when children begin to more fully understand their own and other people’s facial expressions and can use the words to identify emotions. This may be true, however, after working in this field for so long, I believe we can begin the teaching of them earlier.
Why not talk about those feelings they are having(or that you’re having) when they begin to demonstrate frustration, excitement, sadness, etc.? The earlier they hear these words and begin to see emotions on other people’s faces, maybe the earlier they will begin to identify emotions. Could this also lead to them learning to navigate how to manage emotions a little earlier on? Possibly. If anything, it may teach us adults how to navigate our emotions in order to demonstrate healthy ways to manage them. As parents/caregivers, we are the biggest source of influence for them in most situations.
Besides labeling emotions as they are feeling their big feelings or watching others demonstrate emotions, there can be other ways to begin teaching feeling words at a young age. You can point out characters in books while readying short stories, look through photos, or while they are watching their favorite shows. This can be as simple as pointing to faces and describing the emotion very simply, such as, “Oh, he’s sad”, or “Look how happy she is!”. Nothing too complicated. The least amount of words the better when they are little. You can show them those emotions on your own face and change the tone in your voice as you describe. I truly believe it is never to early to begin using feeling words while you talk to your toddler or preschooler!